Rock Salt And Feathers ~ The Angel's Away

Just Fair By Janie Tangerine
Home ~ The Angel's Away
Rating: R Disclaimer: I own nothing. I wish I did, but I don't. Summary: So this is how it goes. Dean gets laid each night by two different people who own the same body; and the weirdest thing is that it doesn't feel even remotely the same. Spoilers: Season 4 Episode 22 Notes: written for the Dean/Castiel kink meme for the prompt Castiel is on the run (riding around with the Winchesters) so he still needs Jimmy as a vessel so they alternate between who's consciously present.
It's just fair to Jimmy, Dean thinks, but it doesn't mean that this isn't a whole new level of freaking weird, and it's no euphemism. Thing is, Cas did manage to escape the Archangels somewhat, but then it automatically meant that he'd stick with them. And that was fine, really; he had dared Sam to object, but it hadn't been necessary. Dean figured that seeing how things were, if Sam had in front of his eyes a real proof that there was at least one angel that was like the ones Sam had spent years praying to, it couldn't really mean anything bad. And it was probably why Sam didn't put up one single objection. That wasn't a new level of weird at all. It, on the whole, had started when Castiel took him aside one day and told him that from then on he would split with Jimmy equally. Dean had blinked. Castiel had shrugged and said that at the beginning, he had assumed that after averting the Apocalypse he would leave and let Jimmy return to his life; this obviously wasn't going to happen any time soon and since by that point he felt too and the both of them were sort of connected, he really didn't feel like it was fair that Jimmy had to always stay back. Of course, if there was the need to fight, Castiel would have come forward at once, but they had talked and agreed on twelve-hour spans. Dean hadn't been that enthusiast, but Castiel's reasoning hardly had faults. Dean had liked the poor bastard back then and he figured that twelve hours of consciousness each day were the least they owed him. So he had said fine and then Castiel had nodded and blinked and Jimmy had been there instead, staring at his fingers like he couldn't believe he could actually move them. And since it wasn't like Lucifer had done a single thing since his rise and it sounded like Apocalypse wasn't starting just now, Dean just took the guy's wrist, brought him to the nearest open diner he found, gave him twenty bucks and said he could knock himself out. Jimmy had looked at him in sheer gratitude and Dean barely drank some water as he watched him eat. It, part one, started a week later or so, when he and Castiel were talking about something he can't remember, and then suddenly he had sort of finally really told Cas exactly how thankful he was and maybe he shouldn't have done it, and then Castiel had said nonsense, he had chosen it and it was enough, and it had ended with Castiel kissing him on impulse, Dean not even thinking about stopping, some sparse sentences which did contain the word love even if he can't remember who said it first and Sam looking pretty much like the incarnation of embarrassment the day after. Thankfully he had had a room for himself that evening. It, part two, had started two days later when Jimmy was Jimmy and Dean was sharing with him because there still was tension between the guy and Sam even when Dean was present and having them sharing a room wasn't that bright of an idea. Dean had sort of meant to apologize about blatantly using Jimmy's body, but Jimmy had just shrugged and said that he already gave Castiel permission and he really couldn't afford to be picky. Dean had asked what it meant, Jimmy had said something like 'try to be the one without control over his body for a year, and let's just not talk about feeling what Castiel felt for the last month'; then Jimmy had just stood up and kissed Dean senseless. It lasted maybe ten seconds; he apologized as he abruptly parted and he said that he was sorry but it had been so much time and he didn't have the right, and that was when the whole new level of weird had started. Because Jimmy was still blathering when Dean had brought a hand on his cheek and then there was silence. Dean had spoken first. "Don't... I mean, seriously, man, you really got the short straw here." Jimmy had been about to say something but then had gone into a sort of half-trance for maybe a minute. That was when the whole new level of freak had become even weirder. "He... Castiel said that... it'd be alright." "He what?" "Literally, I need this and he doesn't mind and... well, something that stays between him and me. Sorry. But... you don't have to. I'm not him." Dean should have said fuck this to everything, but he hadn't. "I know," he had answered instead, and then had kissed Jimmy because well, he probably wasn't even realizing it but his eyes were just pleading and Dean really wanted to make things better if he could someway. Sam had been way, way more embarrassed the morning after. So this is how it goes. Dean gets laid each night by two different people who own the same body; and the weirdest thing is that it doesn't feel even remotely the same. Castiel always touches him reverently, almost like he's a piece of precious glass, and it always makes Dean's heart lose beats because barely touching is too much sometimes; they kiss slowly, with Dean taking his time to map every inch of Castiel's mouth with his tongue. They spend time just touching each other or holding each other or kissing before actually doing it and Castiel is impossibly slow and careful when he's thrusting into Dean and Dean's hips match his pace evenly. It doesn't even feel like merely having sex; when Dean comes with Castiel's name on his lips it always feels like some fucking extra-sensory experience, and when it's over he only feels bliss pulsing through his veins as he wraps his arms around Castiel's waist. Castiel does this like it the bare fact that he's able to do it is a gift, and for Dean it's the same. Jimmy, though, Jimmy doesn't really treat him as any kind of gift. Jimmy treats him like this is the worst year of his life and Dean's body is the only place where he can forget it. He needs, almost craves it even; his hands always roam over Dean's body like they can't get enough of touching him everywhere, he kisses Dean so hard that it almost bruises and more than once he actually drew blood by kissing only (and Dean won't ever forget how hard Jimmy had shuddered that time). He doesn't lose time in preliminaries, he barely talks and when he does his voice is higher and more desperate and curses a lot, lot more; he fucks Dean hard and fast and desperately and Dean usually can't help staring at him whenever he comes, when his face is contorted into an expression which is a mixture between tormented and blissed out. Which is understandable, he probably wishes this was with his wife, but still, it doesn't matter and whenever Dean wraps his arm around Jimmy's waist he curls into the touch like it's some kind of drug. And what's fun, is that Dean knows perfectly that he's everything that's left to the both of them and he lives in the fear of letting them down too, and let's just not bring Sam into the equation. He wonders what goes on in their head most of the times. He wonders if one day they'll be together as they do this. He won't ever ask, that's for sure. He only knows that it doesn't feel like he'd betraying Cas or like it's a pity fuck when he's with Jimmy, and that he doesn't wonder anymore if being with Cas hurts Jimmy somewhat. And it's all very, very confusing, but on top of it all, he also gave up on sorting this out. After all, it's fair. Who cares about the rest. End.
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